i have bad news for the people of boston. there will be at least one more disappointing year for beantown when it comes to sports.

struggling teams, cursed franchises, even defending world champions: not this year, sorry. how do i know this? what is causing the sudden inevitability of not winning a championship? the answer, in a word, is...me.

sometime between now and the end of september, i am moving to the capitol of the commonwealth of massachusetts. or just north of it anyway.

i have, in recent years, discovered an affinity for a few of the teams in boston. the celtics, due to their acquisition of a number of former jayhawks. the red sox, the lovable loser mystique added to the fact that they are the yankees blood rivals. now that i will be living there, it will be so much easier to really start rooting for these teams. this spells doom for them, and for this, i sincerely apologize.

any team that i take on as a fan, will suck. if they ever actually get to be good, they will choke. some can even be good for years and years and never get in done. except for two brief moments of odd euphoria in the '80s that seem like an eternity ago, my teams simply can't win championships.

proof? okay. following is a list of teams that i will admit i root(ed) for and some facts that show why it's fun to be their fan.

Kansas Jayhawks

- 1952 national champions - i wasn't born. in fact, my parents were still in diapers.

- 1988 national champions - i liked the team, but was too young to truly appreciate it.

- 1990 to present - 15 straight ncaa tourney appearances, 4 final fours, 2 time national runners-up.

- my deepest commitment to any team. every year's loss kills a part of my soul. i can't make any jokes here.

Kansas City Royals

- 1985 world champions - i was 10. and i was really into soccer at the time, not baseball.

- with the exception of an occasional season above .500 (just to boost season ticket sales i imagine) nothing has happened since '85. nothing. we had bo jackson, but he just wanted to play football.

Kansas City Chiefs

- 1970 - super bowl champs - i wasn't born. to me, len dawson is just a sportscaster

- 1980s - bill kinney and steve deberg, enough said.

- 1990s - terrific defense, NO offense.

- 2000s - terrific offense, NO defense.

Buffalo Bills (seriously)

- 1990 thru 1993 - four straight superbowl losses. i gave up.

Utah Jazz

- i started rooting for them in the mid 90's when they drafted greg ostertag and jacque vaughn. i wanted them to win the championship, some guy named michael jordan had other plans.

 

so, basically, sorry to all bostonians, but now i am adding to the curse of the bambino. the red sox will suffer for a while longer. the celtics will, unfortunately, continue to make paul pierce look like a fool. the patriots will not repeat as champs. and the bruins will...well, what do they play? hockey? yeah, i don't like hockey.