I’ll combine two small stories that will hopefully satisfy your craving for stories of my misery while on tour. Our happy caravan puttered into San Bernardino, admiring the large storm cloud that seemed to only linger of this small city. As we got closer to the mountains of the same name, we realized that the cloud was emanating from the ground itself,we hadn’t been watching the news and therefore were unaware that a massive fire had broken out. Our vehicles,two Dodge Ram vans, one red and one gray,pulled into the hotel parking lot. As we got out and looked up to admire the smoke, we saw the sun shining through it in an interesting color of blood red. We left San Bernardino and headed for Ventura. We woke up the next morning to discover it snowing,ash, that is. Most of us didn’t have much knowledge of the geography of southern California assumed we close enough to the fire for this happen. Watching the news we saw that San Bernardino was having a hell of a time, around 450 homes destroyed. As if that wasn’t enough, the Santa Ana winds had spread the fire into Ventura County,specifically Thousand Oaks where we just performed. We marveled at the path of destruction everywhere we went. The newscaster then said that arson was suspected and that two men in the twenties were wanted for questioning. They were seen driving a gray Dodge Van in San Bernardino. We expect to be arrested any day now. After our show in Thousand Oaks, we went to dinner with some of the actors’ families. While walking into the restaurant, a couple complimented us on the show. They said it was the best thing they had ever seen. We thanked them graciously and went to our table. Halfway thru the meal, the couple stood up with their wine glasses and cried out “A toast to the cast and crew of The Scarlet Pimpernel!” For those of you who are unaware, my show is Sarah, Plain and Tall. Scarlet was performing in the theatre next to us. Not wanting to offend them, we took their toast; but apparently the bewildered look on my face gave us away. We adapted our theme song appropriately: Sarah, plain and Tall, You didn’t see our show at all. Scarlet Pimpernel, We weren’t in it, but we won’t tell.